

Won by a Kodak. 



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WON BY A KODAK 



A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



Arranged for tlie American Stage 
By HAROLD SANDER 



Copyright, 1917, by 
Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 



Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 

successor to 

Dick & Fitzgerald 

18 Vesey Street New York City 



WON BY A KODAK «fcp 

CHARACTERS. " Tr 

Adam Stern A middle-aged bachelor 

James Witty A young architect 

Cora Greenfield Niece of Adam Stern 

Elizabeth Pierce A veiled lady 

Jessie Housemaid at Stern's 

Time. — The present. Time of Playing. — Fifty minutes. 

COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 

Adam Stern is an irascible bachelor of about 40, the 
guardian as well as the uncle of Cora Greenfield. "Wears 
house costume. 

James Witty is a bright, likely young fellow of about 
25. His disguise should be perfect enough to deceive 
the audience. A slight stoop and a foreign accent would 
greatly add thereto. For dress, a long frock coat and a 
rusty silk hat would be advisable, also a pair of spec- 
tacles. 

Cora Greenfield is a sweet, bright girl of about 20, 
dressed in a light blouse, smart tie, belt, and dark skirt. 

Elizabeth Pierce, the ' ' veiled lady, ' ' must be smartly 
and attractively dressed. 

Jessie, the housemaid, is a nicely-spoken, superior 
girl, not pert or saucy in manner, but deferential and 
sympathetic, such a girl as would naturally have her 
young mistress' confidence and trust. Maid's costume. 

INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. 

Sewing for Cora. A bundle of dark curtains, and a 
tray with coffee cup and plate of biscuits for Jessie. 
A kodak, long-haired wig and whiskers for James 
Witty. 

> STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audi- 
ence. R. means right hand; l., left hand; c, center of 
stage; d.r., door at right; d.l., door at left. Up means 
toward back of stage ; down, toward footlights. 90m , 

Gold 47735 * A 
SEP -8 m/ €0 l *~~ 



> 



^ ( . 



WON BY A KODAK 



Scene. — Nicely furnished sitting-room, such as well-to- 
do people would possess. Work-basket on small 
table, books, papers, etc., about room to give it a 
natural, much-used look. Doors at r. and l. DIS- 
COVERED Cora seated at small table busy with 
sewing, which takes her fidl attention. After a 
pause a knock is heard at d.l. 

Cora (looking up from her work). Come in. 

ENTER Jessie, d.l., looking mysterious. 

Jessie (half whispering). Please, Miss Cora, Mr. 
Witty is at the door and would like to see you. 

Cora (rising, work in hand). Where is my uncle, 
Jessie ? 

Jessie. Gone out, Miss. 

Cora. Are you sure? 

Jessie. Quite, Miss Cora. I saw him go. 

Cora. Then show Mr. Witty in here, and, Jessie, keep 
a look-out — you know. 

Jessie. Oh, yes, Miss, you can depend on me. 

Cora. Thank you, Jessie. You are a good girl, and I 

won't forget you. (EXIT Jessie, d.l., smiling. Cora 

lays down work on basket, straightens herself, pats her 

hair, and looks pleasantly expectant) It's just horrid 

3 



4 Won by a Kodak 

having to see Jim in this hole-and-corner fashion. Uncle 
is too unreasonable for words. 

ENTER, d.l., Jim Witty. He crosses impetuously to 
Cora and greets Tier in a lover-like manner. 

Jim. Cora ! 

Cora. Jim ! 

Jim. It's good to see you, little girl! 

Cora. And it's good to see you, Jim, but it's awfully 
risky; your coming here, I mean. 

Jim. Well, Cora, I felt desperate to-day, and I've 
come to see if you have managed to find out what your 
uncle has against me. If you have, tell me everything; 
it is important that I know. Oh, by the way, I must tell 
you I saw him leave the house before I ventured to 
knock. I hate this sneaking work, but "needs must," 
you know. Eh, Cora? 

Cora (smiling). I suppose so, Jim; but sit down just 
for a little while. Jessie is on the look-out. (TJiey sit 
at each side of table) 

Jim. Jessie's a brick, and we will remember her later 
on, when we set up our own home. 

Cora (ruefully). I don't see any likelihood of that 
happening, Jim; at least, not until uncle ceases to be 
my guardian and I am quite at liberty to please myself. 

Jim. Ah, that brings me back to where I started. 
What's my stumbling-block to Mr. Stern's good graces? 
I don't want your money, I can keep you comfortably 
without that. So what is it ? I must know ! 

Cora. Well, Jim, we had some hot words only this 
morning, and he said such mean things about you 

Jim (grimly). Go on, let's hear them. 

Cora. I don't like to repeat them. 

Jim. But, Cora, darling, you must, or how can I 
know? 

Cora (liesitatingly) . Well, he says you're a milksop 
■ — a nincompoop — that you couldn't catch a tame rabbit 
tripping. You haven't as much inventive genius as a 






Won by a Kodak 5 

penny Jack-in-the-box. In short, you are more like a 
nursery governess than a man, and with his good- will 
you will never marry me or handle any of my money. 
There, Jim, you asked me to tell you, and I have done, 
at least, as much as I care to remember, for he rated me 
for nearly an hour. 

Jim (laughing). My goodness! What a category! 
Anyhow, it's a comfort to think that that's not your 
opinion of me. 

Cora (reproachfully). Jim! 

Jim. It's a wonder he didn't have a shot at my dra- 
matic efforts while he was on the job. My amateur ef- 
forts, I should say. 

Cora. He did. Said you couldn't act for nuts, and 
couldn't disguise yourself enough to deceive a hen. Oh, 
I don't know what he didn't say. 

Jim. Well, he is an old curmudgeon, anyhow! 
(Laughing again) So that's how I strike him, is it? 
Well, we shall see what we shall see. Meantime, he has 
the "whip hand," unfortunately for us. (Quick knock 
off d.l. is heard) 

ENTER Jessie, d.l., looking scared. 

Jessie. Oh, please, Miss Cora, the master. 

Cora (springing up). Where, Jessie? 

Jim (rising also). Not in the house yet, is he? 

Jessie. No, sir. Coming down the road. 

Cora. Oh, Jim, you must not let him see you here! 

Jim. For your sake, no; for myself I don't care. 

Jessie. Miss Cora, if Mr. Witty went down the back 
garden, he could get away while I let the master in. 

Cora. The very thing ! Jim, quick, through this door 
• — (Pointing to d.r.) — down a few steps which lead into 
the garden, through the little gate at the bottom, and 
into the back lane. Jessie, get to the front door and keep 
uncle there a minute if necessary. (EXIT Jessie, d.l.) 
Quick, quick, Jim — go! 

Jim. All right, dear, I 'm off. Good-bye ! I '11 manage 



6 Won by a Kodak 

that you shall hear from me soon. (Kisses her heartily 
and hurries off, d.r.) 

Cora. Oh, what a narrow escape ! (Smooths Tier hair 
and takes up her work, and is barely seated when door 
opens and Jessie RE-ENTERS, d.l.) 

Jessie (looking around cautiously). Has Mr. Witty 
gone, Miss Cora? 

Cora. Yes, just. Where is Mr. Stern? 

Jessie. Gone to his room, Miss. He was very cross 
because I kept him waiting a little before I answered the 
door. I did it on purpose, Miss. 

Cora. Yes, Jessie, I understand. I don't know how 
I should have escaped a terrible scene but for you. I 
am sorry to make you deceitful to your master, but — 
(Tearfully) — I have no other friend that could help me 
like you can. (Wipes her eyes with handkerchief) 

Jessie. Miss Cora, don't take on; it will all come 
right, you'll see. And Mr. Witty is a good gentleman, 
I'm sure, and if I may be so bold as to say it, Miss, 
.will make you a good husband some day. And, besides, 
if Mr. Stern is my master, you are my mistress, and my 
first duty is to you. I always believe in a maid sticking 
up for her mistress, because, nine times out of ten, the 
master's to blame. 

Cora (half smiling). Jessie, you're a real treasure, 
and I don't know how to reward you. 

Jessie. Don't you, Miss? Well, I'll tell you, shall I? 

Cora. Certainly. 

Jessie. Keep me as long as you are here, and when 
you go take me with you. 

Cora. That I will, Jessie ! And I shall be the gainer 
by the transaction. You shall stay with me till some 
"good" man wants you. 

Jessie. Oh, Miss, never mind the "man." I'm not 
bothering about that, at least not yet. I'm happy 
enough with you, and you deserve all the good turns I 
can do you for your goodness to me. 

Cora (with a start). Jessie, here's Mr. Stern. You 
had better go and prepare his lunch tray. 






Won by a Kodak 7 

Jessie. Yes, Miss. [EXIT d.l. 

ENTER, d.l., Adam Stern. He looks sharply at Cora, 
who is evidently intent upon her seiving, then picks 
up a newspaper and sits down on chair opposite. 

Adam (after a few seconds' silence). Sulking, eh? 

Cora (looking up). No, uncle, not sulking. 

Adam. What then? 

Cora. Merely quiet, that's all. 

Adam. Humph ! Thinking about that Jinny-hammer, 
I suppose. 

Cora (starting up). Uncle, you said quite enough 
about Mr. Witty before you went out. I won't listen to 
any more. 

Adam (flinging paper down). Hoighty-toighty, Miss, 
so that's the way you speak to your lawful guardian, is 
it? All because I won't let you marry the first young 
Jack-a-napes you take a fancy to. Sit down, I tell you ! 

Cora (looks defiant, then irresolute, and finally sits 
down sloioly and bursts into tears). Uncle, how can you 
be so cruel? I wish I had no horrid money, and no — 

Adam. No wicked uncle, eh? Now look here, Cora — 
dry your eyes, for I don 't like to see you cry. 

Cora. How can I help crying when you are so un- 
just. 

Adam. Oh, I'm "unjust," am I, because I exert my 
authority for your good? 

Cora. It's not for "my good," as you call it. 

Adam (quickly). What is it for, then? 

Cora (drying her eyes and looking straight at him). 
I can't quite make out. Jim bears a good character 
with every one but you. He is in a good position, and 
can keep me. 

Adam. Bah! (Picks up newspaper again) 

Cora (continuing, with spirit). I love him and he 
loves me. Uncle, were you never in love? 

Adam. What do you ask me such an idiotic question 
as that for? 



8 Won by a Kodak 

Cora. Because I am sure, if you had been, you would 
not have quite forgotten what it was like. (Sighs and 
looks pensive) 

Adam (behind his newspaper) . Oh wouldn't I? 

Cora. I have often wondered why you have never 
married. 

Adam (gruffly). Oh have you? 

Cora (musingly). Would nobody have you ? 

Adam (starting up). What! 

Cora. Gracious uncle! How you made me jump. 
I didn't mean to vex you, I'm sure. 

Adam (sitting down again). Well, well never mind. 
Look here, Cora, I've not opened my mouth to anyone 
before about this, and — and — I don't think I will now — 
no, I won't! (Turns away slightly) 

Cora (looking interested). Oh, uncle, do! I would 
like to know, and I won't mention it again. 

Adam. Well, go on with your sewing; there's very 
little to tell. (Cora picks up her work and keeps her 
eyes bent on it) When I was a young fellow, I did like 
a girl above ordinary, and I was fool enough to think 
she liked me. Well, she jilted me and made me the 
laughing-stock of my friends. D'ye hear — (Fiercely) — 
the laughing-stock! I never could bear to be laughed 
at in my life. That's my weakness, I suppose. (He 
looks at his paper again) 

Cora. Well, uncle ? 

Adam. Well, that's all! How much more d'ye want? 

Cora. Did she marry somebody else? 

Adam. I suppose so. I don 't care if she did. I never 
gave another woman the chance to laugh at me. I hate 
the idea of love and marriage, and all such unbelievable 
rot. Bah! 

Cora (softly). Oh, I see. 

Adam. ' ' See ? " What d 'ye see ? 

Cora. Nothing much, uncle. 

Adam. Oh! Well, the next person that takes a rise 
out of Adam Stern will deserve all he gets out of the 
job. 



Won by a Kodak g 

Cora. Poor uncle! (Aside) I understand better 
now. 

Adam. Poor nothing! Pity the other fellow, not me. 
Where's my luncheon? 

Cora. I think I hear Jessie coming with it now. 

ENTER Jessie, d.l., bearing small tray containing cup 
of coffee and plate of biscuits, which she places on 
table near Mr. Stern. She tries to attract Cora's 
attention, but fails, and is caught by Mr. Stern 
as she tries a second time. 

Adam (to Jessie). What's the matter with you, girl? 
Got St. Vitus' dance, or what? 

Jessie. Oh, no, sir, but, please, sir, there's a man at 
the door — a man with a kodak. 

Adam. Well, what does he want? 

Jessie. He wishes to know, please, if you would like 
the house photographed. He says he has everything 
ready, and he could take it in a minute if you are will- 
ing. (Tries again to attract Cora's attention, and fails) 

Cora. Oh, how nice, uncle! Do! We have never 
had a picture of the house, and the garden is looking so 
nice just now. 

Adam (drinking his coffee). Humph! Very well. 
(To Jessie) Where is he, did you say? 

Jessie. At the door, sir. 

Adam. I'll go and speak to him. (Aside) I'd better 
not refuse Cora everything. [EXIT d.l. 

Jessie. Oh, Miss Cora! Miss Cora! 

Cora. Whatever is the matter, Jessie? 

Jessie (laughing, and then looking scared). Oh, Miss 
Cora, the man with the kodak. 

Cora (bewildered). The man with the kodak. What 
of him? 

Jessie (coming close to Cora to whisper). Oh, Miss 
Cora, it's Mr. Witty. 

Cora. What! (Springing up and seizing hold of 
Jessie) 



io Won by a Kodak 

Jessie. It's Mr. Witty, for sure, Miss, and he asked 
me to tell you not to be surprised at anything. I saw 
a lady with him at the gate. 

Cora. A lady! (Releasing Jessie) Oh! 

Jessie. Yes, Miss, talking and laughing with him; 
but she seemed elderly-like. 

Cora. Oh! What else did he say? Quick, Jessie! 

Jessie. I had not time to stop, Miss. I was late with 
master's luncheon as it was, and I thought I heard him 
coming, so I had to hurry away. 

Cora (looking frightened) . Whatever can this mean? 

Jessie. I don't know, Miss. Hush, they're coming! 
(Gathers up tray and dishes and EXITS d.l.) 

ENTER, d.l., Adam Stern, followed by Jim Witty, who 
wears a long-haired wig and bushy whiskers and 
carries a kodak. He removes his hat as he enters 
and gives a sweeping bow to Cora, who acknowl- 
edges it timidly, keeping her eyes bent on the floor. 

Adam (quite good-humor edly) . There, that's soon 
over. I beg pardon, sir, my niece, Miss Greenfield. 
(Waves his hand to Cora) There, Cora, you can have 
your portrait of the house with your uncle standing at 
the door. You see, I'm not so unkind after all. 

Cora. Oh, please, uncle! (With a quick look at the 
man with the kodak, who remains standing) 

Adam. All right! Oh, I say, Cora, where is Jessie? 
Call her, and get her to bring some dark curtains or 
something to drape the windows in that little ante-room 
there. (Pointing to door at right) Mr. — what is your 
name, sir? 

Jim. Bluff, sir ; Bluff. (Bowing) 

Adam. Mr. Bluff says if we can make him a dark 
room, where there is a cold-water tap, he can develop the 
negative sufficiently to show us if it will do. You had 
better clear the things a bit, and I'll call Jessie. (Goes 
to d.l. and calls "Jessie" as he EXITS.) 

Cora (with a gasp). Jim! Whatever 



Won by a Kodak n 

Jim (raising hL hand warningly and speaking hur- 
riedly). Hush! Not a word, dear. My Aunt Elizabeth 
will be here shortly. She knows everything. Quick, go 
into that room ; your uncle is coming. Leave all to me. 

[EXIT Cora, d.l. 

ENTER Jessie, d.l., with an armful of curtains, fol- 
lowed by Mr. Stern. 

Adam. Now, Jessie, you go in there — (Pointing to r.) 
— and help Miss Cora to darken the windows. (EXIT 
Jessie, d.r. To Jim) Now Mr. — Mr. 

Jim (bowing). Bluff, sir; Bluff. 

Adam. It's rather a curious name. I don't remember 
hearing it before. 

Jim. No, sir? (Aside) It's my belief you won't 
want to hear it again, either. 

RE-ENTER Cora, d.r., followed by Jessie. 

Cora. I think we have made the room dark enough 
for anything now. 

Adam. Come along, Mr. Bluff, and we'll have a look. 
I have some matches in my pocket. [EXIT d.r. 

Jim (with a back-look at Cora and Jessie). Very 
good, sir. I am sorry to put you to so much trouble. 

[EXIT after Adam, d.r. 

Cora. Oh, Jessie, how will all this end? I'm ail in a 
tremble, I feel so afraid. 

Jessie. If I were you, Miss, I'd leave it to 

RE-ENTER Mr. Stern. EXIT Jessie, d.l., hurriedly. 

Adam. Now we shall soon see what our little place 
looks like. I'll give Whiskerandos a good order if they 
turn out to be decent pictures. I'll have one enlarged 
and take it down to my club. It will look well on the 
wall there.. "Adam Stern and his " 



12 Won by a Kodak 

ENTER Jessie, d.l. 

Jessie. Please, sir, a lady to see you. 

Adam. A lady to see me? 

Cora. What name, Jessie ? 

Jessie. Please, Miss, I — I didn't ask her. 

Adam (angrily). Then why didn't you? I don't ex- 
pect any lady. Are you sure she asked for me? 

Jessie. Yes, sir. She asked for Mr. Adam Stern. 
She's sitting in the hall, sir. 

Cora. You had better see her, uncle, hadn't you? 

Adam. Show the lady up, Jessie, and don't be so 
stupid again. (EXIT Jessie, d.l.) I do declare, there's 
no peace and quietness anywhere. It's enough to make 
a parson swear ; for two pins I 'd 

RE-ENTER Jessie, d.l., ushering Elizabeth Pierce, 
smartly dressed and thickly veiled. 

Jessie. The lady to see you, sir. [EXIT Jessie, d.l. 

Cora {offering chair). Will you be seated? (Eliza- 
beth bows and takes seat offered, but does not raise her 
veil) 

Adam (turning to lady) . You wish to see me, madam? 

Elizabeth. Yes, I do. (Glances at Cora meaningly) 

Cora (rising). Perhaps your business is with my 
uncle alone? 

Elizabeth. Thank you, yes. 

Cora. That being the case, I will not apologise for 
leaving the room. 

Elizabeth. Thank you, it will not be necessary. 

[EXIT Cora, d.l., bowing. 

Adam (aside). What the Dickens does this mean? 
(Aloud) Now, madam, I shall be glad to learn your 
business with me. (Elizabeth rises and moves towards 
Adam in a mysterious fashion. As she approaches he 
retreats. This goes on until she gets quite close to him, 
and then she flings her arms round his neck) 

Elizabeth. Adam, Adam, at last we meet. (d.r. 



Won by a Kodak 13 

opens and Jim steps out, as Mr. Stern, too much aston- 
ished at first to resist, is in the embrace of Elizabeth) 

Jim. A thousand pardons ! I am sorry that I appear 
at so delicate a moment. I will again retire. 

[EXIT and closes d.r. with exaggerated politeness. 

Adam (after the first astonishment, struggling to get 
free). Madam! Woman! Who are you? What are 
you? Leave go my neck, will you? (Elizabeth still 
clings to him and hides her face on his shoulder) Oh, 
you shameless hussy ! Help ! help ! Cora, Cora, I say ! 
Help! (d.r. opens again and Jim appears) 

Jim. You cry for help, sir. Can I help you? 

Elizabeth (to Adam, to whom she is still clinging). 
How cruel you are to me after all your promises. (To 
Jim) Retire, sir, we do not desire your presence. 

Jim. A thousand pardons, madam. (Bows and 
EXITS d.r.) 

Adam (in exasperated alarm) . Are you mad? Cora! 
Cora ! where are you ? 

ENTER Cora, d.l., rushing in at her uncle 1 s last cry. 

Cora (stands looking in astonishment as her uncle 
finally frees himself and sinks panting into a chair). 
Uncle, uncle, whatever is the matter? (Elizabeth EX- 
ITS, d.l., very slowly, unobserved by others) 

Adam (angrily). How do I know "what's the mat- 
ter?" A pretty state of things, letting mad women 
without names into a man's house, and then asking, 
' ' What 's the matter ? " As for you, madam ! ( He turns 
to the place where he has flung Elizabeth, who has 
meanwhile stolen from the room while he is speaking) 
Great Scott! She's gone! Am I mad, dreaming, or 
what? 

Cora (a look of comprehension coming into her face). 
How can I tell, uncle ? I come in here and find a strange 
lady with her arms round your neck. You, uncle, who 
profess to hate "love-making" and all such "unbeliev- 
able rot." 



14 Won by a Kodak 

Adam (starting up in a passion). Do you — do you 
dare to suppose that — that I know that abominable, out- 
rageous, black- veiled female? That — that I was making 
love to her? 

Cora (speaking in a judicial tone). Well, uncle, what 
can I suppose? At least, you must own that she was 
making love to you. 

Adam (excitedly). I'll make love to her if I catch 
her at it again. (Shakes Ms fist wrathfully) 

Cora (pretending to be shocked). Oh, uncle! 

Adam. Don't stand there "Oh, uncle-ing" me. Go 
and see if that creature has left the premises! Search 
every nook and corner ! (Raising his voice) Go, I say! 

Cora. Uncle, don't shout so loudly. You know the 
man with the kodak is in there. (Aside, smiling) Poor 
uncle! [EXIT d.l. 

Adam (rubbing Ms hands through Ms hair and pacing 
floor). Who in the world is that wretched woman? 
How can I ever convince Cora that I don't know her? 
I declare, the little minx is putting airs on about it al- 
ready. I wouldn't for the world have a thing like that 
leak out. I should never face the club again, and that 
bewhiskered fellow in there to come out when he did. 
How can I explain to him ? I '11 call him out while Cora 
is away. (Goes to d.r. and calls) Mr. Puff, Bluff, or 
whatever is your name can you come out and speak to 
me? 

ENTER Jim, d.r., bowing and rubbing his hands. 

Jim. You wish to speak to me, sir? 
Adam (irritably). Haven't I just said so? 
Jim. A thousand pardons. I am all attention. 
Adam. You must have been surprised at what you 
saw just now, eh? 
Jim. Not at all, sir, not at all. 
Adam (in a loud, wrathful voice). What? 
Jim. Well, perhaps the lady was a trifle demonstra- 



Won by a Kodak 15 

tive; but then — (Shrugs his shoulders) — perhaps the 
lady is very fond of you. 

Adam. ' ' Demonstrative ! ' ' Why, she nearly strangled 
me, and I don't even know her. 

Jim (with a sly smile, and poking Adam in the ribs 
playfully). She knows you, at all events. It was un- 
fortunate I happened to enter when I did. I beg again 
a thousand pardons. 

Adam. Confound your "thousand pardons." I'm 
sick of hearing you repeat that, and if you dare to poke 
my ribs again, and look at me like that, I '11 smash both 
you and your kodak. You — you 

Jim. Softly, softly, sir; it is for me now to speak. 
You think me so foolish as to believe you, or to be 
afraid of your threats? You shall pay for threatening 
to smash me and my kodak. Oh, but, yes, you shall pay, 
sir. 

Adam (turning to look at him). What do you mean? 

Jim. I mean that others will be equally slow to be- 
lieve when the story is told to them. 

Adam. Others ? 

Jim. It will be a good joke at a certain exclusive club 
when they know that the confirmed bachelor and woman- 
hater has at last ' ' changed his spots. ' ' 

Adam. What? Would you dare to spread a story 
like that? 

Jim. Men who are bullied and threatened dare much. 
Besides, I happen to know 

Adam. "Know?" What do you know? You 

(Turns aside to control himself) 

Jim. I know that Adam Stern will listen to me while 
I make terms. 

Adam. "Terms?" Then you have a price for your 
silence? I guessed as much. 

Jim. Yes, sir, I have a price. You have "guessed" 
rightly, and my price is high. 

Adam. Suppose I refuse? Suppose I say, "Take 
yourself and your kodak out of this ? ' ' 

Jim. You will not refuse. 



1 6 Won by a Kodak 

Adam. Will not? 

Jim. You will not refuse to listen to my terms, be- 
cause 

Adam. Because ? 

Jim. I happen to know that Adam Stern fears being 
held up to ridicule more than he fears anything. (Bows) 

Adam. Confound your bowing and scraping. Name 
your price, and let me see the back of you while you are 
safe and I have some self-control left. 

Jim. The price, sir, is the hand in marriage of your 
niece, Miss Cora Greenfield! 

Adam (starting back). What! You — marry my 
niece! You be-whiskered lump of shabby mystery. 
You 

Jim. Softly, sir, softly. It's my price! 

Adam. Why, you don't even know her. 

Jim. I have known her long enough to love her. How 
long I have known her is my business. 

Adam. I cannot entertain such a proposition. 

Jim. No! Then there is no more to be said. (Turns 
away as if to get Ms things) 

Adam. Stop, stop ! I will give you any money you 
like to name ; but I cannot ask my niece to even look at 
you in that light. 

Jim. And why? 

Adam. Because — because (He seems struck with 

a happy thought) She is already engaged! (Aside, 
triumphantly) That will settle him. 

Jim (thoughtfully). Ah! If that is true it might 
make a difference. Surely then, sir, under such cir- 
cumstances I may ask the name of the happy man. 
Come, that's only fair, sir! 

Adam (pausing, and then speaking desperately) . Mr. 
James Witty, a very desirable young man with whom 
my niece is deeply in love. Now, are you satisfied? 

Jim. Sir, pardon me if I seem to doubt still; but if 
you will let your niece tell me with her own lips in your 
presence what you have just told me, I will leave the 
house at once, or when you bid me go. 



Won by a Kodak 17 

Adam (looking relieved, rings bell. ENTER, d.l., Jes- 
sie) Look for Miss Cora and tell her I want her in- 
stantly. 

Jessie. Yes, sir. [EXIT d.l. 

Jim. Please excuse me if I go in this room one in- 
stant. [EXIT d.r. 

ENTER Cora, d.l. 

Cora. You sent for me, uncle? 

Adam (in a hasty whisper). Don't ask questions; 
agree to what I say. Don't look stupid. 

RE-ENTER Jim, d.r. 

Adam (continuing) . Cora, you may think it strange, 
but I want you to tell this gentleman that you are en- 
gaged to Mr. James Witty. He wishes to know. 

Cora (aside). Am I, uncle? 

Adam (aside). Say you are. 

Cora. But am 1 ? 

Adam. Yes, then! 

Cora (to Jim). Yes — I — am — yes. 

Jim (to Adam). With your consent, sir? 

Adam (angrily). Of course, with my consent. She 
couldn't be engaged without it. 

Jim (bowing). Then there is no more to be said ex- 
cept to — (Pulls off wig and whiskers) — ask your bless- 
ing, sir. 

Adam. Jim Witty! by all that's wonderful! (Cora 
goes up stage, as if afraid) 

Jim. Yes, Mr. Stern, Jim Witty, very much at your 
service. Jim Witty, the "nincompoop," the "milksop," 
who has no "inventive genius," who couldn't "catch a 
tame rabbit tripping, ' ' who ' ' couldn 't act for nuts, ' ' who 
"couldn't disguise himself enough to deceive a hen," 
and a few other things "too numerous to mention." 
(Laughs) 

Adam (slowly and sternly). How do you know I said 
these things ? I didn 't say them to you ! 



1:8 Won by a Kodak 

Jim. I begged Cora to tell me exactly what you had 
against me. That is how I know. Nay, I forced her to 
repeat your words. 

Adam. And has Cora put you up to this? 

Jim (hotly). No, sir, she has not. I wanted to show 
you that I was not such a milksop as you thought me, 
that I had some ' ' inventive genius, ' ' that I could ' ' act ' ' 
a little, and that I could disguise myself enough to de- 
ceive even you. Ah, Mr. Stern, be generous. I love 
Cora dearly, and (Smiling) — now that you have con- 
sented to our engagement I will wait, if it is your wish, 
until she is of age, and you may keep her money for 
me. 

Adam (holding out his hand). You've cornered me, 
you young rascal. (Jim shakes his hand heartily) 
Well, I am glad you are not quite the fool I took you to 
be. (To Cora, who is still up stage) Come here, Miss, 
while I box your ears well. You richly deserve it. 

Cora (flinging her arms round his neck). Oh, you 
dear, dear uncle! 

Adam (removing her arms slowly, as if remembering). 
Stop ! That reminds me ! (To Jim ) Who was that 
woman ? Was she part of your ' ' inventive genius ? ' ' 

Jim. She was, Mr. Stern. You see, I was hard driven 
to secure Cora. Will you sit down and I will tell you 
all about it? (Jim and Adam sit at each side of the 
table. Cora stands close by her uncle, leaning on the 
arm of his chair) When I got home to my diggings 
last night, I found my aunt there. She had come over 
to see me. She is my mother's youngest sister, and I 
am rather a favorite of hers. She saw I was troubled 
about something, so I confided in her. She advised me 
strongly to learn what your objections really were, and 
she also gave me a little information which set my wits 
to work. So after Cora told me what you had said, I 
rushed straight home, got my kodak, which I amuse 
myself with occasionally, and pretended to be a photog- 
rapher to get into the house, put on one of my dramatic 
disguises, and hurried back here. You know the rest, 



Won by a Kodak 19 

sir, except that I only pretended to use my kodak. 

Adam. Yes, I do know the rest — nearly "the rest." 
Where is that woman ? Your aunt, I mean. Am I safe 
from her? Answer me that! (Rises) 

Jim. Yes, Mr. Stern; I don't think even I could per- 
suade her to play that part again. 

Adam. And what was the "information" she gave 
you? Come, out with it! 

Jim (looking confused). She said you feared ridicule 
more than anything else on earth. 

Adam (turning sharply to Jim). Ah! How did she 
know that? 

Jim. She would not say. She only said she knew you 
when you were quite a young man. 

Adam. What was her name then ? 

Jim. Elizabeth Pierce. 

Adam (aside). I thought I had heard that voice be- 
fore. (To Jim) What is her name now? 

Jim. Elizabeth Pierce still. She is unmarried, and 
lives with a lady friend. I have heard that owing to 
some misunderstanding in her youth, with some one she 
was very fond of, she never cared to marry. 

Adam. Where is she now? 

Jim. She has gone to my rooms, and from there she 
is going to catch her train, so — (Smiling) — you need not 
fear further attention from her. 

Adam (looks irresolute for a moment, then jerks out 
abruptly). What time is the train, and where is she 
going to? 

Jim. The 2.30 express to Preston, but, really — I — I 
don't know 

Adam. That's just it. You don't know! (Goes to 
d.l. and then turns round to speak) You children have 
beaten me, and, after all, I don't think I'm sorry. Now, 
wish me luck on my errand. I'll be back by-and-bye. 

[EXIT d.l. 

Cora (springing up excitedly and seizing hold of 
Jim). Oh, Jim! I believe I guess! 

Jim. Guess what? 



20 Won by a Kodak 

Cora. That your aunt is the heroine of the story uncle 
told me this morning. Oh, how lovely! (Rushes to bell 
and rings it) I must let Jessie know how we have pros- 
pered ! 

ENTER Jessie, d.l., looking cautiously about. 

Jessie. Yes, Miss ? 

Cora. Oh, Jessie, all 's come right ! Hasn 't it, Jim ? 

Jessie (clapping Iter hands delightedly). I am so 
glad! 

Jim (putting Jiis arm round Cora, and liolding a hand 
out to Jessie, which she takes). Yes, Jessie, all has 
ended well, thanks to your assistance in the little plot of 
"Won by a Kodak." 



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